You Did What
by Torchwood Cardiff
Summary: When Vik tries to jump a fence, the landing becomes more trouble than he expected. Humorous oneshot. Warning: There is an exam, but it is not graphic.


_**Thanks to PsychcoGeek, jokay927 and EmMarie96 for all their help with this.**_

* * *

"Vik, don't!" Charlie tried to warn Vik, but he was too late.

Charlie watched as Vik leapt over a fence. Vik was almost clear of the fence, when his foot caught on a stray branch. With a yelp, he went down on the fence. And not in a good way...

"Crap..." Charlie muttered as he ran to Vik's side.

Vik gulped. He had curled up in a ball once he landed on the ground.

"Get up, you're not dying!" Charlie said. "You knew that was a bad idea. And we lost the suspect!"

"So sorry..." Vik slowly got up, glaring at Charlie with hate. "This sucks."

"Come on, we'll get back and Rob can look you over."

"What?! Rob has to..."

"Sorry, but with all that's happened, you can't go to hospital." Charlie said. "We don't know who we can trust anymore."

"Just what I wanted." Vik sighed. "The team doctor having to actually touch me."

Charlie grabbed his mobile. _"_Rob, we'll have to meet you at the clinic. Vik got himself in a situation._"_

_"What sort?"_ Rob asked.

_"_He landed on a fence bar._"_

_"So?" _Rob asked.

_"He, uh-"_ Charlie frowned, unsure of how to word it. _"Landed wrong."_

_"How do you land wrong on a fence?" _Rob muttered. _"I didn't read that one in school."_

_"_Hit where it counts,_"_ Charlie said.

_"Shit, that'll hurt,"_ Rob said. _"Get him in here."_

* * *

Rob glanced at Vik as he headed into the exam room.

"Embarrassment 101." Vik muttered as they walked in.

"Don't think of me as someone you know. "Rob looked at Vik as they set down.

"Easy for you to say..." Vik glared at Rob. "I can't go to hospital, no outside help, and I...hurt!"

"Vik, do you really think I want to do this?"

"Have you seen people naked before?" Vik asked.

"Vik, I do have a medical degree. I just don't practice medicine. I do know what I'm doing, and yes, I have seen people naked before. It's a normal part of any physical "

"I-I guess you can start." Vik nodded.

"Okay, did this happen?" Rob asked in a gentle, but professional tone.

"Thought I could clear a fence, but landed right on it." Vik looked down at the floor, wishing he was anywhere but here.

"That was a smart thing to do..." Rob rolled his eyes.

"Can I go?" Vik shrugged.

"Yeah, as soon as I'm finished with you."

"This is bloody embarrassing..." Vik muttered.

"Are you sexually active?" Rob asked, staying professional as possible.

Vik's head shot up. "Um..."

"Just answer yes or no." Rob shot back.

Vik shrugged.

"Does that mean yes?" Rob asked, crossing his arms.

Vik looked down at the floor.

"You won't get a lecture. " Rob assured him.

"No...I'm not." Vik said.

"So, how did you land?" Rob asked.

"On the fence." Vik frowned as a blush crept into his cheeks.

"No kidding." Rob rolled his eyes. "But _how_?"

"I practically did the splits on the bloody thing!" Vik grumbled.

"Right on your...?" Rob gestured toward his groin.

Vik nodded.

"Bugger..." Rob muttered as he ran a hand through his hair.

"You're telling me..." Vik muttered.

"Okay," Rob said. He pointed to the gown and sheet on the bed. "Put that on."

Vik nodded. "Will there be a nurse in here?"

"No." Rob pulled the curtain. "Vik, this is MI5, we don't play by the rules."

Vik put on the gown. "I'm ready." He said softly.

Rob came back, leaving the curtain pulled. "Have a seat," He said.

"If anything happens, you're responsible," Vik muttered.

"Vik, if anything happens, it's a normal reaction," Rob said. "Now, if you're done freaking out, lie back."

Vik shook his head.

"Vik, lie back." There was a stern edge to Rob's voice. He put his hand on Vik's shoulder and eased him back.

"I'm not sure about this," Vik said.

"Don't worry," Rob said, washing his hands. "Relax." He went through the basics, then reached for a set of gloves from the box on the wall.

Vik watched as Rob put them on. There was no getting out of this...

"Ready?" Rob asked gently.

"No," Vik said.

"Vik. I don't like this anymore than you do." Rob sighed. "Just work with me here."

"Pervert," Vik muttered.

"Get your mind out of the gutter and chill out!" Rob said flatly.

"What?" Vik looked at him.

"Stop feeling sorry for yourself, Vik."

"But I hit the fence-!"

"Vik," Rob gave him a stern look. "Enough with the bloody fence!"

Vik nodded. Rob wasn't going to take pity on him. "Okay, what do you have to do?"

"I'm going to make sure there's no bleeding, swelling or lumps that shouldn't be there," Rob explained.

Vik glanced at Rob, but a look from the medic stopped him.

"Okay, do it."

Rob reached for Vik's gown, but before he could move it up, Vik pushed his hands away.

"Okay, what the heck is going on, Vik?" Rob asked.

"Nothing." Vik shifted on the bed.

"Don't make me run a STD test!"

"What?!" Vik looked at Rob.

"You're acting like you have something to hide," Rob said. "What am I supposed to think?"

"What's an STD test?" Vik asked.

Rob grabbed a swab. "This goes where you don't want it to." The doctor held the swab in Vik's line of sight.

"Right in my..." Vik's eyes widened.

"Yep." Rob stifled a laugh.

"Just do it, minus that thing!" Vik said.

"Only if you calm down." Rob moved to try again, and saw that Vik was starting to shake.

Vik shook his head. "Can't!"

Rob glanced at Vik, confused. "What's all this about, mate?"

Vik struggled to get himself under control. "I've never had a doctor touch me there before," He whispered.

"It's okay. "Rob said, fingering the box of gloves. "I'm only going to check you out and make sure you haven't damaged yourself with your rubbish landing."

Vik narrowed his eyes. "I didn't plan to land that way! I thought I could clear it!"

"I just need to check," Rob said.

"No way!" Vik started to panic.

"Stop being a wuss!" Rob exclaimed "I'm only going to do a quick check. Do you want to stay in pain for the rest of your life every time you take a piss!?"

"Could it really be that bad?" Vik bit his bottom lip.

Rob shrugged. "It could...but I need to have a look to make that judgement." He gently placed a hand on Vik's shoulder "Come on Vik, I won't make it any longer than necessary."

"Why does everything happen to me...?" Vik grumbled.

"I don't know." Rob shrugged. "Murphy's law seems to love you. Now, calm down." Rob snapped on gloves. "I'm going to start."

Vik tensed. "Wait, I-"

"Vik, I've had just about enough." Rob glared at him. "You are blowing this out of proportion and making harder than it needs to be."

"I just-"

"You are _just _acting like a child!"

Vik sighed. "Promise it won't take long?"

"I promise," Rob said.

"Okay." Vik closed his eyes and turned his head away. "Do it now..."

Rob eased up Vik's gown and examined him. Other than some slight bruising, he was fine.

"Done," Rob said as he covered Vik back up.

"That's it?" Vik asked, sitting up.

"That's it." Rob assured him. "You'll be fine. Get dressed."

Rob walked around the curtain and waited for Vik to change back into his street clothes.

"Let's go," Vik said as he came out.

Rob tossed the supplies in the bin and followed him.

"You know I'm never going to let you forget this, right?" The ex-junior doctor grinned.

"Great..." Vik muttered as they walked out of the exam room.


End file.
